[Try as he might to take the sting out of the words, Castiel's teeth still hitch around the vowels. He can't speak for every iteration of himself in every capacity of emotion, but then when things were fresh for Dean and didn't exist for Castiel he'd still spent seven years in his company, learning from him, dying for him and for his brother. Making mistakes in the name of penance, failing, and being forgiven again and again.
Castiel's certain he loved him then, but not at the same level. The same depth. It had only grown with time, and with time he'd come to understand it all the more.]
The Empty knew when I made the deal, what true happiness meant to me. Telling you, it was as close as I could ever get.
[At the time, and it would have been even if he hadn't been pulled into the abyss alongside Billie. What had been broken between them was still on the mend, heaven still needed fixing. In some ways, they came closer to it here in Duplicity in this city filled to the brim with its licentious requirements.
Castiel keeps his hand wrapped around Dean's wrist, not out of necessity but simply to feel him. Tangible, there, this was real and the life he'd had in Duplicity that kept filtering in were real too. Grounding.]
no subject
[Try as he might to take the sting out of the words, Castiel's teeth still hitch around the vowels. He can't speak for every iteration of himself in every capacity of emotion, but then when things were fresh for Dean and didn't exist for Castiel he'd still spent seven years in his company, learning from him, dying for him and for his brother. Making mistakes in the name of penance, failing, and being forgiven again and again.
Castiel's certain he loved him then, but not at the same level. The same depth. It had only grown with time, and with time he'd come to understand it all the more.]
The Empty knew when I made the deal, what true happiness meant to me. Telling you, it was as close as I could ever get.
[At the time, and it would have been even if he hadn't been pulled into the abyss alongside Billie. What had been broken between them was still on the mend, heaven still needed fixing. In some ways, they came closer to it here in Duplicity in this city filled to the brim with its licentious requirements.
Castiel keeps his hand wrapped around Dean's wrist, not out of necessity but simply to feel him. Tangible, there, this was real and the life he'd had in Duplicity that kept filtering in were real too. Grounding.]